I'm Already Obsolete

Check out this article Go ahead. Click away.

It's two comics pros discussing the role blogs have played in comic book criticism / creation / marketing.
I love how they reference that 2004 was the year Blogs started to suck. Holy #@$* am I ever behind the times, since I didn't even know what blogs were until around 4 weeks ago.
I can't wait until the pace of technology increases to a pace like this:
A: "Hey have you got the new atomic-cell-widget yet?"
B: "What is an atomic-cell-widget?"
A: "What? Oh man, atomic-cell-widgets are, like, sooo 30 seconds ago. You need to keep up, dude. Everyone is into sub-atomic-cell-widgets now."

PS - ever notice how the Blogger spell-check won't recognize the word "Blog"? This stuff is obsolete even to itself!!

Must ... Resist ...

I am caving from the craving.

I've been good all day. I had my power bar on the way to work, I had my little healthy feast of yogurt and dried fruit mid-morning, and I had a nice lunch of chicken breast and salad.

But now is the time of temptation. I want a treat. I want a treat right now. I got a fever, and the only cure, is a treat.

I tried drinking water to stave off the need. The result? I sat, bladder engorged, more in need than ever.

I almost gave in, and walked down the hall, toonie in hand to partake in some kind of baked good from the caf upstairs. "No!" I said to myself, "don't do it, don't be weak, break the snack cycle."

So I walked on by, resolute in my determination, and made it to the person's desk I was supposed to visit. Only when I get there, she's got a box of doughnuts on her counter. Not little easily-justified Tim-bits either, a dozen real honest to goodness treasures (including one of those nice fluffy glazed ones, you know, the ones that look like monster-truck tires?). I must have looked pathetic inspecting the box, waiting in my passive-aggressiveness for her to offer me one. When she did I made a face like I'd been offered to sell my soul, and say (out loud this time), "No, I will stay strong."

So now I sit, un-treated, with an illusory hunger that won't be satisfied today.

At least I've got the drive home, with my apple. Joy abounds...

... When A List Cometh!

One of my Christmas gifts this year, (from my ever-tolerant wife) was a book entitled, "500 Comic Book Villains". While the book is not ranked as such, there are larger entries for the major characters. So inspired, I have attempted here to list the Top 10 Comic Book Villains.
Here goes:

10. The Riddler - Although many see Edward Nigma as the "poor man's Joker", I have always enjoyed this character. I always got so much enjoyment out of Riddler stories as a kid. You could read the silly riddles he left, answer them yourself, and then turn the page to see Robin yell out the answer and Batman derive the meaning of the clue. Very "Encyclopedia Brown". As the villain that brought out the most "detective" in the Batman, Riddler gets the nod.

9. The Red Skull - Ranks high if only for his longevity. Cap and the Red Skull have been throwing down since WWII, and the crazy Ratzi just keeps turning up. Plus depictions of him have been engraved in my memory, especially those by Jack Kirby.

8. Bullseye - Make no mistake, those of you unfortunate to see the motion-picture butchery that was "Daredevil", this guy has major appeal (shown by the critical acclaim for his current mini-series). Nothing is cooler than a guy that can kill with random found objects. In one of the better uses of the "cinema" style panel sequence, Bullseye is in a mob meeting, absent-mindedly fiddling with a paperclip, and during the meeting snaps a rubber band and plucks an annoying fly out of mid-air with his homemade projectile. Frank Miller made us as readers examine props in an establishing shot to try to figure out what Bullseye was going to use next to "off" someone. Add to that his status as the guy that actually killed his enemy's gal pal (forget the fact that Elektra gets brought back to life), and Bullseye is way more engaging than your "average" homicidal hitman

7. Lord High Papal - from the lesser-known but cutting edge 80's/90's series "Dreadstar". When Jim Starlin first began the tale of Vanth Dreadstar for Marvel's offshoot "Epic" imprint, it was clear this was no ordinary super-fare. Way more sci-fi than spandex, Dreadstar was great because he changed and developed with each issue in a very novel-like style. Lord Papal was depicted as an unreachable, stoic symbol of "the establishment" to Dreadstar's reluctant revolutionary. When Dreadstar and Papal finally go toe-to-toe, you knew that the battle was a major event. Like a good wrestling plotline, nothing beats Papal's machinations for making a "slow burn".

6. Darkseid - Speaking of power, Darkseid is the textbook example of the "big bad" (thank you Buffy fans for that term). There is a level of nobility to Darkseid, mostly because of the revere with which his minions regard him. Read some history on Darkseid, then watch the Star Wars trilogy. See any similarities?

5. Magneto - Ranks high for his power level, but also for the depth that has been added to him over the years. You know he has to be an interesting character if Hollywood is planning a Magneto solo movie examining his early years. The Malcolm to Xavier's Reverend King, Magneto is the most sympathetic and noble of all comic villains, with the most realistic motives.

4. Galactus - How can you not rank this guy high on the list, HE EATS PLANETS! As Stan Lee would say, 'Nuff said!

3. Lex Luthor - In all his incarnations, Lex has been a great foil for Superman. Superman is the great agent of humanity, using his physicality to protect humanity against (most often) agents of intellect gone awry (giant robots, lab accidents, natural disasters). Lex is human intellect and ambition personified, especially in his current role as the DC Universe's President of the United States.

2. Dr. Doom - If the FF are the original "super-team", Victor Von Doom is the original bad guy. One part Sauron, one part Dr. Frankenstein, Doom is a great villain because he is an exaggeration of his counterpart's own vanity and ambition. Doom goes too far, pushes the envelope back too much, and sees nothing as being beyond his grasp. Not that far from Reed Richards, whose family was turned into the Fantastic Four as a result of a similar kind of unchecked ambition. Plus, such a great visual character, with the whole medieval-meets-technology thing going on.

1. The Joker - Frank Miller once said that the essence of the Batman is a man who believes the natural state of the world is chaotic, and it's his mission to impose order on it. If so, the Joker is the perfect foil, as the agent of Chaos. As for his aesthetics, no villain has as much iconic status as the Joker. While many of the others on the list try to justify themselves and their actions, the Joker is a pure sociopath, who acts from the "id" and accepts his role.

Honorable Mentions: Even though they don't rank with these heavy-hitters, who can't like the following rogues?
"Mr. Glass" from Unbreakable
Cobra Commander
Zoltar from Battle of the Planets
The Shaggy Man from Justice League of America #186 (my all-time favourite issue)
The Sentinels

Please to be discussing!

American Idle?

So once again I have been sucked into the cultural train-wreck that is American Idol. Although I have many cultural "vices", (aspects of my tastes that in certain circles, I may not admit to) my predilection for this show is probably one of the more embarrassing. I watch with the anticipation of opening a birthday present. I am introduced to each contestant, and my interest is piqued as they get to that moment of truth where they actually sing, and I find out whether my investment of time and attention will be paid off, or will the joke be on me once again as they assault my eardrums.
This season sees the three gate-keepers / star-makers seemingly raise their standards, and get uniformly "brutal" in assessing the entrants. For instance, the Washington DC group, numbering more than 20,000, resulted in only 20 or so going forward to the next round.
Let's repeat: 20 out of 20,000.
20,000 people showed up and waited for days, herded like cattle, for the chance to get on TV and become famous.
As I went over this figure, some theories sprung to mind.
1. The process has become a joke.
A certain percentage of that crowd are no-goodniks who want to "sabotage the experiment" by getting in front of Simon and company and sing terribly, the worse the better, in an effort to get attention and poke fun at the other contestants. Although the show is indeed ridiculous, I don't ever look at those entrants and say, "Man, that guy is cool. He really stuck it to the man that time."
2. There are a surprising number of insane people in the United States.
Another portion of the crowd are delusional, some tragically so. These are the truly exploited, as the producers advance them through to get shot down by the judges, just for the laughs it will generate. I blame the producers, the media in general, and the entrants' families for allowing such insanity to enter my life, (but it is funny).
3. The "cult of personality" in the West has taken over.
This show (and reality TV in general) points out the new mind-set of the modern American, which can be summed up as, "my self-worth is proportionate with my level of fame". Several phenomena have contributed to this belief. Here's just a couple:

My neighbour is on TV. Why aren't I? So many non-celebrities are on TV these days, your family has to have it's own sit-com, just to keep up with the Jones'.

The celebrities on TV are just like me. Go back in time to pre-1970's society and see how much the average guy on the street knows about, say, Fred Astaire. To many, Fred Astaire might as well come from Mars. His image set himself apart from the common person. Not so today. Between the internet and television, there is a such a glut of content that the fan can have access to every iota of information about a celebrity, including a camera-phone pic of when they spilled spaghetti on themselves, or where they go to get their bikini-wax and Botox treatments. So celebrities have been taken off their pedestal to such an extent that these regular folks feel like they can stand toe-to-toe with them if they win American Idol

Regardless of how they come to be there, or who finally wins, it is still a very entertaining social experiment to put the call out for potential fame, and see who shows up. Perhaps more entertaining is to see how many of us line up at the record store to consume that newly reborn star that, in the end, is famous for not being special, but for being one of us.

Please to be discussing.

Hello Agents, and welcome to ...

This is my first entry in my blog, designed to facilitate rants, musings, and plans for world domination. By reading this initial message, you have already been iris-scanned, DNA profiled, and catalogued for future reference.
Please stand by for instructions...